Who are you voting to become today? 🗳️

Coach the person, not the problem.

I’ve heard that phrase many times. But I think I only truly understood what it meant yesterday.

In my coaching course, we were learning about helping people shift their habits. 

And if you know me, you’ll know how obsessed I am with habits (I’m on Day 89 of a running streak - so that gives you a clue! 🏃🏻‍♀️😅)

We were watching a brilliant clip of James Clear and he was talking about how:

"Each action we do is a vote for the person we want to become". 

It reminded me of a jaw-dropping moment in The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. He tells the story of a woman who became addicted to gambling - weaving together her story with the brain science of habits, and the injustices she faced. 

And then he asks:

“Did she have a choice?”

My brain, in that moment listening to the audiobook, empathising with her story, and how things had unfolded for her, answered: "No".

But then he said: 

"She did. Once. The first time she made that choice. After that, the repetition took over. Neural pathways formed. And the choice disappeared."

That was a huge paradigm shift for me.

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💭 What things might I do 'just the once' thinking - 'what harm could it do'?

💭 What choices was I making - or could I lose? 

💭 What person do I want to become?

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From the Doing → to Being → to Becoming

Before yesterday, if you’d asked how to build a habit, I would’ve said:

• Routine

• Discipline

• Streak theory

• 5-minute rule - AKA just get started.

The doing.

But James said something else that really struck me: 

"Habits are not only the method by which we gain external success - they are the path through which we forge our sense of self " 

💡 In other words:

Our habits reflect what we believe about ourselves...

And, they shape what we will come to believe about ourselves.

The being → the becoming.

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I always said, "I'm not a runner." 

Then one day, I chose to run - because I believed it was important to try, for my health and my development. 

Then I ran another day. 

Then another. 

And my votes stacked-up.

And now, I say to myself "I am a runner". 

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🔁 Our beliefs → our choices → our actions → our habits → who we become.

So how do you help someone (or yourself) change a habit?

Don’t focus on the problem. The doing.

Focus on the person...

The being → The becoming.

“Coach the person, not the problem....”

Because it’s who we believe we are,

that shapes the votes we cast.

And through those votes,

we shape who we believe we are...

And ultimately,

who we become.

So… who are you voting to become, today? 🗳️

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If you want some support in casting your votes towards becoming the person, and leader, you aspire to be, my 1:1 coaching is designed to help you do just that.